Controlled: A Guest Blog Post by Neesha Arter

I wrote a guest blog post for “Forever Going Forward” on anorexia and my new memoir CONTROLLED.

Forever Going Forward

This blog post is written by Neesha Arter, a survivor of an eating disorder as well as sexual abuse.

neesha arter

When I was fourteen years old, I struggled with anorexia after being sexually assaulted by two people I had no reason to mistrust. My ordinary teenage life went from volleyball practice and sleepovers to an unwanted legal case and loss of identity. In my memoir, CONTROLLED, which comes out on August 11th, I write about how these challenges consumed my life.

For me, it was never a matter of being skinny or fat—anorexia was the remnant of my sexual assault and a vehicle to satisfy my wish to simply disappear. Fourteen is already an age where you don’t seem to know anything about the world. In many ways, losing my innocence made me lose my identity entirely. I couldn’t figure out if I was a teenager anymore or an…

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